Circle The Drain
by MarryTheNight25
Summary: A one shot based on the song "Circle The Drain" by Katy Perry


Sitting in the ER waiting to hear something from someone and having no idea what happened is one of the worst feelings you can feel. I don't know why I still felt anxious and scared sitting there, this wasn't the first time Michelle had done this, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take. I had taken a vow to be with her through everything, but I couldn't do this to myself anymore.

"Mr. Brooks?"

"Yes that's me,"

"Well sir your wife is currently stable. We're trying everything to keep her that way,"

"What happened?"

"It appears that it was a combination of anxiety meds, anti-depressants and alcohol. Has this sort of thing happened before?"

"Unfortunately yes,"

"May I suggest that you try to get her into a rehab facility of some kind? It appears that she has a serious problem and she may not be so lucky next time,"

"Funny you should say that doc, she's been to rehab twice. I thought things had changed, but obviously that's not the case," The doctor gave me a sympathetic look.

"Can I see her?"

"She's currently still asleep, but yes you can go ahead in," I thanked the doctor and headed towards her room.

I didn't know what to think when I saw her laying there. I was so angry at her for being so stupid, she had promised me after the last time that she was done, she wouldn't put us through hell again, but something triggered this and I had to find out what. I sat in the chair beside her bed and took her hand. I exhaled for the first time in what seemed like forever and I could feel tears well up in my eyes. I rubbed her right hand and broke down. It wasn't supposed to be like this, when did it get this bad? Taking her hand in mine I thought back to a happier time, before the pills and the booze, back to when we were first married and awaiting our first child.

We had been married for only eight months and things were going better then expected. My career was taking off and Michelle was six months pregnant with our first baby, my life was so much better then I ever dreamed it would be. The night before I left for a two week tour we were laying in bed, my hands were on her belly talking to the baby who was kicking fiercely.

"I'm going to miss this," Michelle said.

"Babe, it's only two weeks, I'll be home before you know it. In two months I'll be home with you and we'll have our baby boy here with us,"

"I can't wait to have you home and to get this child out of my body. I love the idea of having your baby, but this pregnancy has been no picnic!" Shelly was having a rough first pregnancy. We'd been through every possible scare that first time parents could experience before the baby was born and things were just beginning to settle down. I was worried to leave Shelly at home alone with problems she had, but I had a job to do and things had been going well the last few weeks. I didn't want to worry her with my worries, so I kept them to myself.

"Well we better get some sleep, God knows I'll be pretty restless the next two weeks without you beside me," I kissed her softly and pulled her close to me resting my hand on her belly. I was so in love with Michelle and I couldn't wait for our baby to arrive.

I had been on the road for a week and we were in Memphis for Raw. I called Michelle multiple times a day to make sure things were going ok and she wasn't over doing it. I had last spoken to her at 6PM and it was now 11:30. Her phone rang multiple times before going to voicemail. It wasn't like her not to answer, but before I started to panic I grabbed a Pepsi and took a shower. I figured she was either in the shower or away from her phone. At 11:45 I called again and got nothing, now I started to worry. Even if she had gone to bed she knew I called every night after a show and she was a light sleeper so I knew she would answer. As I started to pace back and forth my phone rang.

"Hello, Michelle?"

"Mr. Brooks?"

"Yes this is he, can I ask who is calling?"

"Sir this is Dr. Wallace calling from Rush Medical Center, we have your wife Michelle Brooks here,"

"Is she ok? What happened?"

"Sir she's in premature labor. We're doing everything we can to stop it, but we recommend you make your way here," Before I could hear anymore I hung up the phone and grabbed my keys running for the door. Flying down the stairway I ran into Cena in the hallway.

"Hey what's the rush?"

"Listen, I need to do me a favor. Here's my room key, get my stuff and check me out of here. Call Vince, I gotta to,"

"Punk, what's going on man?"

"It's Michelle," He was one of my closer friends in the company and he knew all about Michelle's complicated pregnancy, so did Vince. I knew I didn't have time to explain further and based on the look John gave me he didn't need a further explanation.

"Consider it done, call when you hear something!" He yelled as I ran out the door and jumped in the car, speeding to the airport.

For once God was on my side because I managed to book the last flight to Chicago. It was the worst flight I had ever been on in my life and every possible bad scenario that could happen replayed over and over in my mind. When the plane finally landed I felt little relief as I fan through the airport grabbing the first taxi I found, after an intense 15 minute drive I arrived at the hospital feeling sick to my stomach. I ran into the hospital stopping at the main desk, I hadn't heard anything about Michelle or the baby in over two hours and I was slowly losing my mind.

"Can you please tell me where I can find my wife, Michelle Brooks?"

"Do you know when she was brought in sir?"

"No, I just got a call from Dr. Wallace a little over two hours ago saying she was in premature labor. She's barely seven months along,"

"Ok sir, try to calm down, I'll page the doctor for you," Realizing there wasn't much else I could do I sat and waited for what seemed like a lifetime before Dr. Wallace approached me.

"Mr. Brooks?"

"Yes, Dr. Wallace, how is Michelle?"

"Well she's stable, currently sedated,"

"Sedated? Why?"

"Maybe you should take a seat,"

"No, I need to know what's going on! Why is she sedated? Everything is ok with the baby right?"

"Mr. Brooks I'm very sorry. We did everything we could to stop the labor process, but unfortunately your son was born prematurely and was very underdeveloped. We currently have him in the NICU, but things are not looking good. Your wife didn't take any of this well, thus we had to sedate her," I knew something like this could happen. I should've done everything in my power to stay home. I could have stopped this, I could have saved them both.

"I need to see her,"

"Very well, right this way," I followed the doctor to room 220 and found my wife asleep, her face still stained with tears, her abdomen deflated. I couldn't believe this was happening, everything was going great for us, we had everything we'd ever wanted and it was all beginning to slip away. I sat in the chair by her bed and put my head in my hands feeling myself overcome with emotions.

"Phil, babe is that you?" I quickly wiped at my eyes and pulled myself together for her sake. I was always the strong one, I couldn't fail her now.

"Yeah it's me. How are you feeling?"

"I thought you were in Memphis,"

"I was, but when I got the call from the hospital I got here as soon as I could," She smiled softly and she put her hand on her stomach.

"Where's the baby?" I looked at her as she looked at me with a confused look on her face.

"Don't you remember?"

"Remember what? Last thing I remember I was at home and the baby was kicking keeping me from resting. I got up and started walking around the house getting a few things done and...oh my God...Phil my water broke, I knew it was too early, but I couldn't stop it. Is he ok?" The look on her face was shear panic, I couldn't bring myself to tell her how bad it was, so I lied.  
>"He's in the NICU, they're checking him out, and he's ok,"<p>

"Are you sure? Wait I thought sick babies went to the NICU, he's not okay, please don't lie to me Phil," I sat on the bed and pulled her close to me stroking her back.

"Honestly I don't know. said it didn't look good, but he didn't say it was all bad,"

"I want to see him,"

"Ok baby, calm down, let me go talk to the nurses," It took everything I had to get off the bed and make it to the nurses desk without collapsing. I hadn't heard anything about our son in an hour, but I had a gut feeling that things weren't getting any better.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Phil Brooks, Michelle Brooks is my wife. She went into premature labor earlier this evening and she's asking about our son and I don't know what to tell her. I know Dr. Wallace said he was in the NICU, but that was over an hour ago. We'd like to see him,"

"Well usually we wouldn't allow it, but based on the circumstances I'll call up and see if there's anything we can do," The nurse dialed the extension to the NICU and after a very short conversation hung up.

"Mr. Brooks, things have taken a turn for the worse. I'll get your wife a wheelchair and you two can go up and see him, you may want to prep her to say goodbye," I nodded and walked away from the desk trying to hold myself together. I couldn't fall apart in front of Shelly, especially not now. Our son was dying and I knew she was blaming herself. I took a moment to compose myself, took a deep breath and prepared to tell Shelly.

It was hard to believe it had been three years since we lost our son. After we lost Jack, Michelle was never the same. When we met I didn't think of myself as straight edge, I had always abstained from drugs, alcohol and promiscuity, but I didn't label my lifestyle. Shelly would have a cocktail once in a while, something that I learned to live with, but after we lost Jack she went down hill fast. The doctor prescribed anti-depressants after her first suicide attempt. I hadn't originally planned on going home that weekend, but seeing I was a short distance away I did. I had found her just in time in an overflowing bathtub where she was laying in red water.

We both started seeing a psychiatrist after the incident and things started to look up, but I quickly found out she put on a show every time I was home. I was cleaning up the house one day while she was out shopping and managed to find seven bottles of vodka and three different prescriptions for Vicodin throughout the house. I didn't know what to think, so I confronted her about it and she quickly admitted her addiction. I got her to check herself into rehab for the first time where she stayed for a month and some how managed to convince myself and her whole family that she had conquered her demons.

Vince was breathing down my neck to get back on the road and I had no other choice. I knew I was losing faith and trust in her when I asked my best friend Scott to keep a close eye on her. I was back at work for two months when she relapsed again, this time landing in the hospital for a drug overdose. It killed me to see her like this and know that I couldn't be there. After recovering she went back to rehab, this time staying for five months. She knew our marriage was broken, but she did everything she could to fix herself so that we could fix us.

We went a year without incident and even started entertaining the idea of having a baby again. After trying for three months and not having success we decided to make sure everything was ok. We had gone to the fertility appointment together and were devastated to find out Michelle would never be able to have another child. I took the prognosis hard and I knew Michelle was going to be on thin ice with her sobriety. After a few weeks she still seemed ok and I once again went out on tour making sure someone checked in on her and I called every few hours.

Sure enough here we are three months later and she's overdosed again. I had no idea what, if anything, had triggered her relapse, but I knew I couldn't do this anymore. I looked over at her still sleeping soundly and made my decision. I couldn't sit by anymore and watch her circle the drain time and time again. I knew that the last three years had been hard on her, but it was just as hard on me if not harder. I wanted a family with Shelly more then I ever wanted anything and it nearly killed me when we lost Jack and then found out we weren't able to conceive. I knew she blamed herself for everything, but I felt guilt consuming me every time I left to go on tour. It didn't help that I couldn't trust her. I had recently found out she was going from doctor to doctor to get prescriptions for anti depressants and anxiety meds. I couldn't deal with the constant lying, it was all too much.

Call me selfish, but I was tired of loving someone who didn't love me back. Shelly had found a new love for alcohol and prescription meds. I looked at her one last time, kissed her forehead and said goodbye to the Michelle I loved and adored and left the new junkie Michelle that had taken her place.


End file.
